Sex machines

In the movie nine and a Half Weeks, there is a famous scene in which Philip Rourke feeds Kim Basinger various foods, including jelly, cherries, and tomatoes, before opening the refrigerator. Combining food and sex is appealing to some people.

But how common is this sexual fantasy? What kind of food is most exciting? Why are sex and food so appealing?

I conducted a survey of 4,175 Americans for my book, Tell Me What You Want. I asked people about hundreds of different things they might have fantasized about before, including sex related to food in some way. Here's what I found:

Overall, 40.5 percent of participants said they had previously fantasized about sex and food, but only 2 percent said it was something they fantasized about often. So while it's not uncommon to have this fantasy, it's pretty rare as a recurring sexual interest.
Forty-one percent of straight women and 43 percent of lesbian and bisexual women said they had fantasized about such things.
Thirty-nine percent of straight, gay and bisexual men said they fantasized about such things.
Thirty-eight percent of non-binary people said they had had this fantasy in the past.
A similarly small percentage (1.5-3%) of people across gender and sexual orientation said it was a regular fantasy.
As you can see, there is no big gender difference in the prevalence of this fantasy. I also found that the most frequently mentioned foods in these fantasies have a lot in common. The most popular foods are:

Salt cora
Fresh cream
ice
strawberry
cucumber
banana
honey
Less common foods mentioned by a few participants included bacon, carrots, peanut butter, popsicles and pudding. There are some very special ones that only one person mentioned. A few examples:

"Mutton stew. That's hunger Games style."
"Side dishes like rice or mashed potatoes are usually served with me as the main course."
"Anything that makes a man ejaculate can be eaten."
"Dog food."
"Stick grapes in holes in your body and suck them out and eat them."
"Hot dog buns"
As always, if you can think of it, someone else might have had a sexual fantasy about it!

So what's the appeal of combining food and sex? There are many possible explanations. In some cases, for example, it might just be about the idea of adding a novelty element to sex. Novelty is one of the most popular fantasy themes.

In other cases, this may be about the wider interests of BDSM, using food as an exploration, such as temperature play or emotion (hence ice cubes), or feeding/being fed as an act of domination/submission. Consistent with this view, in my research, fantasies about combining food and sex were associated with more fantasies about BDSM.

I also found that people who had food fantasies tended to have more active imaginations, meaning they tended to have more fantasies about just about everything. Again, these fantasies are associated with positive attitudes toward sex and a tendency to seek thrills.

It also had little to do with more anxious attachment styles, which require more comfort from a partner. It made me wonder if, for some people, the act of eating or being fed is seen as a comfort, or something that helps them relax.

The answer may vary from person to person. As I've said many times before, two people can have the same fantasy, but for completely different reasons.

What do you think? Do you fantasize about food and sex? What excites you about this fantasy? Have your say in the comment section below.

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