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Fantasy can be a multi-sensory experience. They have to do not just with what we can see, but also with what we can feel, smell, taste and hear. In this article, we will look at the role of music in sexual fantasy.

How many of you have a soundtrack to your sexy ideas? What are they listening to?

For my book Tell Me What You Want, I surveyed 4,175 Americans, including questions about what people hear in their fantasies, from name-calling to moaning to moaning to music.

Overall, 55 percent of participants said they played music in their sexual fantasies at least sometimes; However, only 6 percent thought it happened a lot. So while music seems to be part of most people's fantasies, it doesn't seem to be a major part of most people's fantasies.

The data on sexual fantasies during music was similar across genders and sexual orientations: 55 percent for heterosexual men and women, 59 percent for lesbian and bisexual women, and 50 percent for gay and bisexual men.

That said, it's worth noting that women are twice as likely as men to say music is part of their sexual fantasies (8 percent versus 4 percent, respectively).

 

So, what kind of songs do people like to listen to the most? I allow people to write this, rather than giving them a selection of songs, so I can capture as much variation as possible - and boy, it was changeable before!

Most commonly, people say things like "depends on mood/situation/person", "different", "casual", "what's on my mind/favorite song at the time" or "no specific song". They then mention specific types of "general" music -- the most common being classical or instrumental (i.e., wordless music).

Only a few songs are mentioned more than once. These include:

"Closer" by Nine Inch Nails
"Let's Get Started" by Marvin Gaye
Marvin Gaye's sex therapy
John Stephens is everything to me
"Pony" Ginuwen

The Wicked Game by Chris Isaac

As I mentioned, however, there are still a lot of change, people mentioned a variety of songs, songs from the ladder of paradise to sex "aspiring warrior" to "rocket man" to "the last of the mohicans" theme song to you all night in shake me to the awning falls to "rain again" to "barbie girl" I is the best description of the data, These are random songs! No obvious underlying theme; It makes it look special.

So, who fantasizes about music during sex? I found it to be associated with many personality traits and traits and other types of fantasies:

People with a high sense of responsibility, which involves a high level of attention to detail, often fantasize about music. This makes sense, because in general, responsible people tend to be more focused on "setting the scene."

Extroverts (including those who are more social and outgoing) fantasize more about music, possibly because they tend to fantasize more in social environments where music is likely to play.

People with highly open experiences and overactive imaginations had more fantasies about music -- but then again, they had more fantasies about just about everything!

Highly neurotic people (prone to stress) rarely fantasize about music.

For these people, music can be an unnecessary distraction.

People who have more fantasies about BDSM (especially about abuse and dominance) have more fantasies about playing music, perhaps because it helps set the mood they want (I suspect this is why NIN's Closer is the most frequently mentioned song).

Those who had more fantasies about passion and romance also had more fantasies about musical performance -- which could be about creating a certain mood with music, which may explain why classical and instrumental music are often mentioned.

Those who had more fantasies about recreating movie sex scenes also had more fantasies about playing music, which could indicate that some people generally tend to incorporate pop culture into their fantasies.

As can be seen from the above, people may incorporate music into their sexual fantasies for a variety of reasons; However, the specific songs that people fantasize about seem to be highly personalized to reflect their tastes and the emotions they want to create.

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