Sex machines
Bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and abuse/abuse (BDSM) were the most popular sexual fantasies, with a significant number of people reporting that they had engaged in BDSM behavior at one time or another.
So why is it so popular for sex? What drew people to BDSM in the first place?
A recent study published in the Journal of Sex Research explored how people who engage in BDSM activities say they enter [1]. In the study, 227 adults (over 18 years of age) participated in real-life BDSM activities for at least six months and were asked to describe the sources of their BDSM attraction in their own words.
They found that there are two main types of reaction-intrinsic and extrinsic motivation-and that each type has several specific subcategories.
Intrinsic motivation is "deeply rooted in an individual's personal history". These reasons tend to describe BDSM as a trait, character, orientation or identity -- something that comes from the heart.
Extrinsic motivations, on the other hand, are "developed through environmental processes" -- they originate outside the person. These reasons tend to describe BDSM as something acquired or a reaction to a life experience.
Intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation are further divided into eight subcategories.
Internally, subclasses include:
1). A feeling that one is obsessed with BDSM, but can't explain why. For these people, interest in BDSM emerged at an early age, but did not become sexually relevant until later. Examples include "When I was a child, I tied myself up and blindfolded -- I just don't know why" and "Being tied up, blindfolded and flogged was a sexual fantasy long before I became interested in sex itself." These people feel like they were just "born" or "born" into BDSM, which is the way most participants describe things.
2). Later in life, one realizes that he likes BDSM, but realizes that it is an innate aspect. These people tend to think it's something they've always liked, but either hide it or deny it until some point in adulthood. One example includes "I was in denial for a long time, basically hiding my sexuality for years." Fewer participants reported this compared to other causes.
3). Use BDSM to find balance or deal with psychological distress. For this group of people, their personal history drives them to BDSM as a form of self-healing or therapy. Examples include: "I dealt with my 'problem' and healed myself" and "Endorphins from constant pain help ease the poles, similar to exercise." In other words, these people feel that they are prone to BDSM because of their psychology.
Externally, the subclasses include:
1). It's a reaction to childhood sexual abuse. Like, "I was sexually abused as a child. I was used a lot, which gave me a submissive attitude."
2). The most common response to parental disciplinary behavior is to use something, such as a belt or whip, during spanking. Like, "My parents used to beat me with a belt, and I craved and needed punishment from an early age."
3). This behavior is positively reinforced early in life. What we're talking about here is the principle behind operant conditioning: when a person engages in a pleasurable or rewarding behavior, it increases the chance of wanting to do it over and over again. Like, "When I play cowboy, I always have my neighbors tie me up. It's exciting."
4). Activities introduced by your partner later in life. In other words, these people are entering BDSM because of their sexual experiences as adults. For example, "I recently met a sadist who introduced me to BDSM."
5). Use BDSM to treat painful chronic diseases. For example, "I entered BDSM after I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis." Only two participants in total reported this motivation, which is the rarest of all the motivations we've discussed.
Of course, we must be mindful of the study's limitations, including the fact that it was not a representative sample of BDSM practitioners. Also, people don't always consciously recognize or understand where their own sexual interests (in BDSM or elsewhere) might come from.
Even so, the study still tells us something important about the psychology behind BDSM. First of all, there are many factors that attract people's sexual interest. For some, it seems to be a lifelong orientation, while for others, it comes after a long life.
Second, these findings challenge the popular stereotype that BDSM was born of some personal trauma, a narrative that continues in many popular media portrayals of BDSM, such as Fifty Shades of Grey. Certainly, trauma, chronic illness, and psychological distress seem to play an important role in the development of INTEREST in BDSM, but these factors do not appear to be necessary or sufficient causes - and they are not the most common causes.
The study also explored why people say they are involved in BDSM. In other words, what did they gain or seek from them, besides where did their benefit come from? Stay tuned -- I'll explore this issue in an article next week.