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If your partner is transgender, sex can be a little complicated. Some people experience gender dysphoria or prefer to avoid certain activities in bed. But, at the end of the day, transgender people are just like everyone else. They want to feel good, be respected and spend quality time with their partner.

Remember, there's no better expert than a real person. Don't take this article as a final solution. Ask your partner what they like and keep checking. Sex should feel good for both partners, and with a little thought, you can help your transgender partner feel comfortable.

If your partner is transgender, here are some general sexual guidelines to keep in mind.

Don't assume anything.
Being transgender is an umbrella identity. It includes people who were given more sex at birth. Your transgender partner may be male, female, trans male, trans female, non-binary, gay, or none of the above. Body parts do not determine sex. You can't tell a person's gender just by looking at their body. Plus, you can't tell what a person's genitals are just by looking at them.

The best thing you can do for your transgender partner is to never assume anything. Some transgender people are very confident about their gender identity. They know exactly what kind of pronouns they like to use. But many transgender people tend to change their identities and comfort levels. That's why it's good practice to regularly check pronouns, identities, and sexual preferences.

Just because your partner liked something last week doesn't mean they want to do the same thing this week. Pronouns change, preferences change. Help your transgender partner feel for themselves without making assumptions.

Practice asking for permission often.
This is a good habit to incorporate into your sex life. But getting regular consent is especially helpful if your partner is transgender.

By giving your partner a chance to say "yes" or "no," you're also giving them the opportunity to fully express themselves in every moment. Think of it this way. Just because you finished last, doesn't mean you want to stay that way. This is a strong sign that you like the position, but it doesn't mean you'll want to have sex this way all the time.

For transgender people, the body can be a source of extreme joy and transcendence, or it can be a source of sadness and grief. Sex can be very jarring when your body is at odds with your spiritual experience. There are unspoken social narratives about how people with penises should behave during intercourse. But a transgender person with a penis may not like using their body this way. They would probably rather not be moved than please you.

Consent allows you and your transgender partner to have great, satisfying, consensual sex every time. There are many toys, like Satisfyer, designed for people of all reproductive organs.
Discuss their preferred terms.
Start by discussing the terms. For people with anxiety disorders, it can be helpful to refer to body parts by non-biological names. It doesn't infantile them, and it doesn't mean they need to see a therapist. Transgender people sometimes describe their genitals in different terms to ease their current anxiety about in-body sex.

It's a two-way street. For example, your transgender partner might like it when you describe their body as if they have the parts they want. When you use terms that transgender people like, swearing and role-playing can be very positive for them.

They may already have preferred terms that they use privately. See if they want to share it. For example, it is easy to say "Mimi" instead of "Mimi" or "Mimi".

If you're looking forward to your first sexual encounter with a transgender partner, you probably haven't had a chance to discuss terminology. If you're new, start with a low-key massage. In bed, it's safe to stick to generic comments. You can look at the way they make you feel, or the features of their body, rather than specific parts. You could say something like, "You're so strong -- I love the way you touch me," or "I love the way your skin touches me."

Keep comments about size, waist circumference, hair, or gender adjectives to a minimum until you know more about them. If you're nervous, just ask!

In the end, having sex with a transgender partner is just like anyone else. You may have had sex with a transsexual without even knowing it!

Be present and be with them. Follow them, including nonverbal cues, and be patient. A sex life with these principles in mind must be worthwhile.