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BDSM(slavery/discipline, dominance/submission, abuse/masochism) is one of the most popular sexual fantasies, with a significant number of people reporting that they have engaged in BDSM behavior. Interest in BDSM seems to be on the rise in recent years, and at the same time, interest in science is on the rise. In this article, we will review five key questions about BDSM that were found in our research.
1). There is more than one reason people are drawn to BDSM - in fact, there are at least eight possible reasons! For some, it seems to be a lifelong orientation, while for others, an interest in BDSM emerges later in life as a response to certain experiences or satisfying certain needs (such as finding balance, or dealing with the pain of a chronic disease).
2). BDSM isn't always about sex. Studies of blood relatives have found that BDSM tends to outnumber non-sexual factors, but at least for some people, it is a non-sexual experience, and some people derive personal or other meaning from BDSM. Also, some asexuals are attracted to eccentricities.
3). People's interest in BDSM seems to change with age. In my own research on sexual fantasies, I've found that interest in BDSM is actually highest among young people (people in their 20s) and tends to be less common among older people; However, BDSM fantasies are relatively common in every age group. Why does people's interest in BDSM change with age? One possibility is that part of this may have to do with personality changes that occur with age -- and those personality changes may predispose us to different sexual interests. Click here for more information.
4). People who practice BDSM have happy, healthy relationships just like anyone else. Many people (including some sex therapists) question whether you can be interested in BDSM and have healthy relationships -- however, research shows that consensual BDSM doesn't harm relationship functioning or well-being, so let's address this myth.
5). Exploring BDSM can improve sexual satisfaction. One of the biggest differences that separates the least sexually satisfied couples is that happy couples mix and try new things, including exploring their more bizarre sides. Studies have found that sexually satisfied men and women are two to three times more likely to try BDSM than unsatisfied men and women.