Sex machines

As far as we know, no one can read another person's sexuality (or anything else for that matter). Most of the time, we use past experiences, media reports, and gossip to please our partners.

While your intentions are good,you sometimes respond with "What do you like?"This problem is not so easy to come up.Even if you technically know the answer,it can be awkward to put it into words,especially given that the conversation isn't fully modeled in the media,sex education,or pornography.Especially porn.

While we can't tell you the exact words (because that's what you like), we can equip you with a few strategies that will make you feel more confident when you answer.

Whether you're single or in a relationship, keep exploring what you love.

If you don't do a little study first, you may not expect the exam to go well. Exploring your libido alone isn't just about touching yourself or using toys to see what helps you orgasm - generally, it's about learning what turns you on. What makes you feel sexy? Sex? Do you want it? Maybe it's dancing to a certain music, putting on your underwear or watching a popular movie.

When you don't have to start at that time or place, you can also think about these questions:

  • What is your best sexual memory or feeling? What stands out when you recall your different attempts at masturbation, or your experiences with past partners? Why do you think that is? What do these experiences have in common? Maybe there's a theme like feeling (consensually) controlled or overwhelmed. Or a sense of excitement or adventure. Maybe you like the feeling of connection and synchrony between you and your partner.
  • What goes through your mind when you masturbate? What would you think? What search terms would you use if you were watching porn? What are you listening to?
  • Consider some of the most common sexual fantasies - do they sound attractive? None of them sound attractive? Can you rank them in order of what you find most appealing?
  • Be creative about your desires and write erotic works about celebrities you like. No need to paste (unless you want to, obviously!). It doesn't have to be long. It could be a specific moment under the telescope, or it could be the whole story. Write down what you want to happen without any expectations of yourself or the end result.

If you are in a relationship, remember that masturbation is not a form of cheating on your partner. It doesn't take away your ability or desire to enjoy your partner's sex.