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Note: In this article, we use the pronoun "she" to refer to a person with a vulva. This is just for linguistic purposes. We need to recognize that not everyone with a vulva thinks of themselves as a "she."
With about 8,000 nerve endings, the clitoris is one of the most sensitive erogenous areas in women. Whether you have a vulva to make you orgasm, or you're the partner of someone with a vulva to make them happy, start with the clitoris. Given that 75 percent of women are unable to orgasm simply by inserting, touching, rubbing, and caressing the clitoris, this is the way to go.
While the clitoris is best known as the rosebud/bean spot located "on top" of the vulva, the clitoris extends deep into the body (up to 5 inches long). Just like the vulva, each person's clitoris looks unique and responds uniquely to stimuli.
The TLDR in all of the following information is: Experiment in your sex life to find what feels best for you and your clitoris!
How to touch the clitoris while masturbating:
Go around, don't walk (at least at first).
Because the clitoris is so sensitive, a slight majority of women prefer to stimulate in or around the clitoris rather than directly.When you're just starting out, make sure you ask yourself what you think is good. Touch the outer edge of the clitoris cap and the inner side of the labia up and down.
Massage your clitoris in a circular motion.
To achieve a star-like clitoral orgasm: Move one or two fingers (pointer and middle finger) in a circular motion toward the top of the clitoris, closer and closer. The speed is up to you, but start slow and build up until you find what feels best. Hold this pace for a while to see if you're close to orgasm, then speed up slightly to orgasm.
Play different types of finger movements and movements.
You may prefer circular movements, but all kinds of movements are worth exploring. Try moving your fingers diagonally across the clitoris, or straight up and down. For some women, pressing the clitoris quickly can make them feel good, so try tapping the clitoris with one or more fingers.
For insertion,insert one or two fingers into the vagina and move the fingers in an attractive manner so that there is direct contact with the anterior vaginal wall (where the G-spot is located).Continue rubbing the clitoris with the fleshy part of your thumb or palm in a circular motion.
Use a pillow to free your hands.
Our hands are not the only tools we can use to masturbate.
You don't even need to change your clothes -- in fact, you'll feel better if you wear pants that have texture like jeans. Sit on a pillow with your clitoris close to the pillow and rub your pelvis back and forth. You can also place a vibrator between your clitoris and your pillow to add an extra layer of sensation.
Buy a clitoral vibrator.
For many women, just using your fingers can feel good, but it's not enough to get you to orgasm. This is where the vibrator comes in. Whether you buy a cheap bullet vibrator with extended G-spot stimulation or a standard vibrator with a variety of Settings, vibration will improve your masturbation game.
Vibrating the clitoris is so effective because the clitoris penetrates deeper into the body than you see on the surface. Vibrations can actually go deep into the entire clitoris, sending out pleasurable electrical waves and feeling very fast and tiny movements back and forth on the surface (which the human hand cannot fully achieve).
How to stimulate your partner's clitoris:
Explore alternatives to licking during oral sex.
Use your lips and tongue to their full potential by sucking and nibbling (the former on the clitoris itself, the latter on the inner and outer labia around the clitoris).
Sucking on the clitoris increases blood flow (the technical term is "vasocongestion"),acting like a miniature vacuum pump that can improve the feeling during oral sex and also produce an extra intense orgasm.Use your vocal cords to take this action to the next level.Many women have experienced the thrill of vibration.You can imitate by sucking on her clitoris while humming in a low register.(If you think it's weird to try something like this out of the blue, tell her you'll try it beforehand and ask her how she feels about it)!
Draw a circle and massage the clitoris.
According to a survey by OMGYes, 75 percent of women say they like their partner to draw small circles on or around the clitoris. It's up to the two of you whether you use your tongue, a vibrator, or a few fingers. Make sure you use some form of lubricant, starting with a slow spin and building up over time. When you leave, check and make sure everything is OK and ask her if she wants you to go slower or faster.
Delight the entire clitoris.
Most of your attention will (and should) be on the rose-bud tips of the clitoris, but the clitoris wings, which extend back into her body, can also be slightly stimulated from the outside. Slide your fingers down evenly on each side close to the clitoris so that your movements push and pull the clitoris cap.
Just like wine and cheese, G-spot stimulation and orgasm are closely related to clitoral stimulation and orgasm. You can use one hand or both -- one hand if you want to touch other parts of her body or need to balance.
Place your hand in the gun position with your index and middle fingers facing out, then your palm facing up, so that the thumb or the thickest part of your palm can rub against the clitoris as you insert your fingers into it. Move your fingers in a "come here" motion, curling them inward toward her front wall (toward her navel)
Massage the clitoris with the penis to achieve sexual intercourse.
If you're about to have vaginal intercourse and are about to enter her body, spend some time rubbing her clitoris with your erect penis. Just like you would with your fingers, rotate in small circles, or move up and down, rotating over the clitoris while rubbing against her.
Try sex toys (especially vibrators).
Vibrators are the most commonly owned and used sex toy by women, and for good reason. Next time you hang out, use a clitoris vibrator for better foreplay and intercourse. Start on a lower setting and keep your hands light at all times (so they don't absorb most of the benefits of vibration). If you use a vibrator during oral sex, slowly make a circular motion around her clitoris while placing your tongue on the outer edge of her vagina and clitoris cap.
During sex, place a vibrator between your bodies to allow the two of you to enjoy the vibration while rocking each other, or in a position where it's easy to touch her clitoris, such as a dog position.
Try different vibrations (intensity level, mode, action, position), but remember: don't just ask her what she likes!