A prostate massager is, at its core, a type of sex toy designed to help someone target and stimulate their or their partner’s prostate gland. Using a prostate masager will generally require anal penetration - unless you’re up for mastering the art of external prostate massage, that is. 

By the way, if you need or want some reassurance that prostate massage is a very well known, widely enjoyed, and very well documented sexual practise, just take a look through the millions (nope, not exaggerating) of prostate massaging sex toys in existence. If you build it, he will come, as they say.

Okay, specifics! A good prostate massager will be curvy or dramatically angled. This is key. See, the prostate gland is located a few inches into your / their rectum, below the bladder and alongside the urethra. Imagine inserting a finger about two knuckles deep and curling it up toward your belly button - a prostate massager needs to mimic that up-curled shape to really pinpoint the pleasurable p-spot. Once it’s inserted, the massager’s curve will naturally (or with a little adjustment on your part) rest against the p-spot.

The best prostate massagers will be firm enough to hit the spot, and, as with any anal toy, will be easy to clean. Many prostate massagers are made of semi-flexible silicone, which is perfect for prostate massage beginners, but if you’re craving a more intense sensation, glass and steel are popular prostate massager materials, too. Some prostate massagers feature vibration, rotation, or even thrusting features, but there are plenty of stationary models to choose from, too. 


Short answer: for many prostate owners, it feels really good! Also, prostate massage with a prostate massager can trigger an orgasm all by itself. How? That’s where things get a bit mysterious.


Honestly, we don’t know much about why, specifically,  prostate massage feels so good. A few years back, Dr. Roy Levin, a researcher at the University of Sheffield in the UK had a piece on this very subject published in Clinical Anatomy.  It’s long, and a bit dry, but basically, he says that while we know lots about the prostate gland’s physiological purpose (reproduction), most information about the prostate as an erogenous zone is anecdotal. In other words, there’s lots of evidence, but no real biological explanation. 


Dr. Levin thinks that stimulating the prostate can help retrain the brain to be hyper-aware of penile sensation, and to mentally connect new sensations (prostate stimulation) with familiar pleasure patterns. The result? More intense, focused orgasms.


Another theory lines up with the more physiological aspect of orgasm. During the first stages of orgasm, the prostate contracts, which sends semen along its journey up through and out of the penis. Stimulating the prostate manually mimics those contractions, which in turn might essentially ‘trick’ the body into releasing all the pleasure-causing hormones and sensations associated with orgasm. 


Bottom line: It doesn’t really matter why prostate stimulation feels so good or why it can lead to super-intense orgasm. Fact is, it does and can. And that, dear readers, is why you might want to use a prostate massager to stimulate your own, or your partner’s P-Spot.


This is a popular question, and it’s an important one! First off, we always recommend getting up close and personal with your prostate before moving on to a prostate massager sex toy. You’ll have a better idea of where it’s located, how it feels when you touch it, and the type of motion or level of pressure that feels good for you. Everyone’s different.


Start off with a well-lubed finger. Lock the door, get comfy, get turned on, and prepare to spend some time with your prostate. Remember that walnut/chestnut analogy from the beginning? Once you’re a few inches into your butt, gently feel around for a bump or swell. Remember, aim up toward your belly button.


Some people with prostates report feeling a jolt of pleasure immediately, while others need more time to get used to the sensation of butt-based pleasure. Some people say that they feel the sensation in their penises, and others feel it throughout their entire body. Again, everyone is different. 


Choose Your Prostate Massager Wisely

We’ve already mentioned that there are thousands of prostate massagers to choose from. This is a good thing! But, it can also make pinpointing the one that’s right for you just a little more difficult. Customer reviews are a great resource, as well as good ‘ol Google. Generally speaking, you should go for something simple and uncomplicated when you’re just starting out. You can always level up if you love the sensation of prostate massage.


A simple silicone model would be ideal for most beginners, but firmer plastic, glass or metal versions can be even more precise-feeling. It all depends on what you’re into. No matter what type of prostate massager (or anal penetrating sex toy) you choose, please be sure that it has a wide or flanged base. You’ll definitely want some protection against too-deep penetration. 


A note: dildos, some anal vibes and most butt plugs, while definitely amazing in their own right, probably won’t target your P Spot with as much accuracy as you might want. If you do decide to try something other than a prostate massager, please make sure that it has a wide (flanged) base, or that you keep a very tight grip on it at all times. 

Don’t Skip the Clean-Up

A clean butt is a happy butt! Hop in the tub or take a shower. If you want to try an anal douche or enema, feel free, but it’s not a requirement. Not only will you be squeaky clean afterward (which can make you feel more comfortable being in the vicinity) but you’ll also be nice and relaxed. This is important! Your anus and sphincter need to be relaxed when anal penetration is involved. No exceptions.

Get in the Mood

Fool around with your partner, watch or read something you find super-sexy, or maybe do a little stroking with a favorite masturbator. When you’re aroused, the prostate swells with fluid in preparation for orgasm. That swelling can help make your p-spot easier to pinpoint.


As with all things anal, you’re going to want to have lots and lots of lube handy. Honestly, just grab the whole bottle. Any good quality water-based lubricant will be just fine, but there are also lots of lubes specifically intended for anal play. 

Assume the Position

You’ll probably need to contort yourself just a bit, but make sure you’re relaxed and comfortable in whatever position you choose. The downward dog (chest down, butt up) is a pretty good prostate targeting position, but you can also lie on your side with one (or both) legs raised up or on your back with your legs in the air. You could also kneel, or stand with one leg up on something sturdy. The important thing is that you or your partner have easy access to your butt.


Take it Slow

Gently touch, knead and massage around the rectum with your finger or the tip of your prostate massager. You want to be relaxed before venturing inside. Check your lube situation. Add more if needed.Penetrate at your own pace. There are two sphincters (bands of muscle) to pass through before you’ll be able to access your or their  prostate, so be gentle with them. Breathe deep and exhale slowly to help yourself relax into the sensation. Be gentle. Once your massager is inside, you can gauge what feels good. Sometimes, the placement might be a bit off, or not direct enough for you. Try carefully adjusting the massager’s position, or rocking the base in your hand to feel more pressure. 



Cleaning and properly caring for any sex toy is important, but when it comes to anal sex toys and prostate massagers, you’ll need to be extra contientious about clean-up. There’s lots of (totally natural) bacteria in and around your butt, and there’s a 100% chance that some of that bacteria is going to end up on your prostate massager.


Before and after each use, you’re going to want to clean your massager well. In most cases, you can use lots of warm water and mild soap to thoroughly wipe down and rinse every nook and cranny. There are also plenty of specific sex toy cleaners availabe. You can use one of these sprays or foams as a final touch after a rinse, or as your entire cleaning method. 


If your prostate massager is of the silicone variety (or if it has any silicone components) you’ll want to be sure to use a water based lubricant only. Please don’t be tempted to use a silicone lube with your silicone prostate massager - you could end up damaging the surface. Glass, steel and many plastic or acrylic p-spot massagers are much more forgiving, lube-wise, so you’ll be able to take your pick from water based, silicone based or hybrid varieties.


Maybe! Some prostate massager users report extra long lasting, super-intense orgasms, full body tremors, and even multiple climaxes with no actual ejaculation. We’re pretty sure you won’t have any trouble getting behind that! Still need some prostate massage inspiration? Have a look through our entire line of prostate masagers, butt plugs, anal dildos and more. Happy massaging!