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Want to create an intimate connection with your significant other? Sex is one of the best ways. When you and your partner candidly see each other, look at each other, slowly approach each other and touch each other, this atmosphere is very romantic and pleasant.

Have you ever heard of rough sex? Sex is one of the best ways to bond with your significant other. When you and your partner candidly see each other, look at each other, slowly approach each other and touch each other, this atmosphere is very romantic and pleasant.

But sometimes, you just don't want to be treated sweetly and tenderly! There will always be those who just want to be thrown into bed and tied up until they forget their name or where they live - that's the kicker of rough sex.

When rough sex is regarded as "a bit perverted" and "non-traditional" sex, more and more people desire it.
So, what is the definition of rough sex? Why do we pursue it?

What is rough sex? Not necessarily BDSM

It is not easy to precisely define rough sex, just as everyone has a different definition of "rough". But the general definition of rough sex is any sexual act that is "painful" or "aggressive."

Rough sex may include kissing, role-playing, hard penetration, any BDSM leanings, or abusive behavior. Rough behavior is very broad, and everyone's definition of "aggressive" is different. While most people believe that at least some degree of pain is required to qualify as rough sex, this is not necessarily true. If you don't feel pleasure in pain, you don't have to have rough sex. Even aggressive, reprimanding, harsh conversations can be considered part of rough sex. For example, you say nasty words to your partner while flirting, or sexting, or bossing your partner during BDSM.

How to Safely Explore Rough Sex

BDSM has a clear set of rules, and some even create contracts to set boundaries when people plan to engage in activities. While some part of BDSM involves rough sex, rough sex is not exactly equal to BDSM, but is seen as something more casual and loose. In turn, this leaves a lot of room for flexibility in poor communication and negative experiences. That said, if you're interested in having rough sex, you should be open and honest, and not just "assuming" your partner is up for it.

Consent is important to all sexual acts. But it should be more clear when it comes to rough sex, which can be violent and aggressive for some people.

  • Clearly communicate your needs

If you're interested in exploring sexual violence with your partner, it starts with being able to clearly communicate your needs. "Introducing rough sex to your partner simply and one-sidedly" or "making them feel suffocated during sex" may not be the best way to engage in rough sex. Even if your intention is to actively seduce them, you never know how these actions will make your partner feel.

You don't need to write elaborate contracts like some BDSM participants do. However, it is very important to clearly discuss what excites you, what would be fun to try, and whether your partner would like to join.

  • Be sure to set safety limits

Setting boundaries, and even bringing up safe words, is very important for healthy and safe aggression: making it clear to your partner what you want, what makes you uncomfortable, and where your no-go zones are.

If your partner feels aroused and you don't, don't continue the behavior that makes you uncomfortable. It's also a good idea to play it safe and say safe words if you're going to have rough role-playing sex. This way, while enjoying the role-play, there is still a safe fallback if something uncomfortable happens.

  • Don't forget to appease afterward

After-the-fact reassurance is an important part of BDSM practice, when the dominant makes sure the submissive's emotional needs are taken care of after the game is over. Even if you enjoy being tortured, miserable, or humiliated during sex, you may still experience a post-sex low. And comfort afterwards, can be a simple hug, can help comfort.

Whether rough sex can be as intense as BDSM depends on the preferences of the partners, but continuing to hug, kiss or simply lie in bed for five to ten minutes after sex can have a huge impact on the entire sex process. So don't lose sight of the importance of soothing afterward and making sure you both feel cared for and loved after rough sex.

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Can't wait to have some hearty rough sex. Sometimes sex tools have to make the whole sex process more attractive!