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Long distance relationships can be difficult for many reasons, with the lack of physical intimacy and sex being one of the most challenging aspects.

While we patiently wait for teleportation to become a thing, those in long-distance relationships have to use the tactics and techniques we've learned so far to flirt -- a big step up from the couples of a decade ago, in all ways.

Whether you and your partner are 100 miles apart or 10,000 miles apart, we've rounded up some of our favorite ways to keep your sexual spark alive.

1. Surprise them

While sending a letter or a love package may not seem inherently "sexy," it tells your partner: "I'm thinking about you." Even in a strong relationship, always consider ways to show that you continue to choose each other, especially if you've been apart for a long time. Surprise your partner with a simple, sweet gesture is one way to do it.

If it can be as small as a "thinking of you and wanted to say hello" email, you know they'll see it first thing in the morning, a gift card for a surprise, or a care kit containing their favorite snack, or you know they already have a gift on their wish list.

A good old-fashioned love letter, sprinkled with a little perfume or cologne, can also go a long way.

2. Send pictures

The next time you're in a good mood, put on your favorite sexy underwear, find the lighting, play a sexy playlist, and try some interesting angles for a personal photo.

Consider creating a private album where you can send photos safely. There are many applications that can accomplish this goal. You can also use an old Polaroid camera for simulation shooting, as long as you trust your partner to keep the physical photographic evidence safely.

While taking pictures of yourself can be fun and make you feel sexy, it's understandable that you'd want some pictures of your partner in return. As long as they feel comfortable and you don't force them to do anything, you can post pictures of yourself and add "Nice to meet some of you" at the end.

Tip: Black and white photos are especially flattering if you have lighting issues or just want to spice things up a bit.

3. Have sex over the phone (or Skype)

If it's not a normal thing for the two of you, phone or Skype sex should be something you shouldn't say to each other out of the blue. Give the person advance hints with flirtatious messages that you've been thinking about them all day or that you can't wait to hear their voice.

If you're good at swearing, phone sex should feel pretty comfortable. If not, it may feel awkward at first, but once together, you'll get the hang of it -- you just have to dive in and try! The key is to describe it in detail and use questions that benefit you. Ask your partner how they would like you to touch them, and then ask how you feel when you both touch yourself or use a toy. If you don't want to start from scratch, you can relive the experience by retelling your memories of having sex with the other person.

Remember to answer every request, say "Uh-huh", sigh, groan, breathe heavily. If they can't see you, they want to make sure it works for you.

If you're going to make a video call, set the mood by wearing something that makes you feel sexy. A pile of dirty laundry and bright fluorescent lights may not get you super excited during face-to-face sex, so video sex shouldn't make a difference -- you can light a few candles and make yourself the center of your partner's attention.

If you live with someone else, you may need to double-check that there is no one else in your home.

4. Enter sexting

If phone or Skype sex is sex itself, then sexting is foreplay. Foreplay is usually active when you get deeper into the nature of sex itself, when you tend to be subtle.

The art of sexting comes down to the fact that less is better - hints about what you're wearing and thinking, hints that you're having a sexy dream about your partner. Satisfy their curiosity and leave something to their imagination.

The advantage of sexting is that it makes it easier to express your sexual desires to each other so you can keep them in the back of your pocket the next time you meet.

As with everything else mentioned here, the key is to have fun, but security and privacy should still be a priority. Using a more secure app, like Signal or Whatsapp, makes a major sexting accident less likely.

5. Embrace technology

Thanks to modern technology, it's easier than ever for couples across time zones, continents and cultures to maintain a physically interactive life. Whether you use it completely alone to keep your sex drive going or with your partner during phone sex, sex toys apply very real (and powerful) physical sensations to the LDR sexual experience.

There are now sex toys that allow you to sync your devices and have someone remotely control your device through an app, which adds a sense of excitement and unpredictability, but you can also count on simple vibrators or other personal sex toys to operate it yourself.

Remember that your vibrator is not meant to replace your partner, nor are they likely to think so. It's more likely that they're excited at the thought of you leaving, and that's it, whatever happens.


Being in a relationship, even if it's not long-distance, doesn't mean you need your partner to meet all of your sexual needs. It's unrealistic and unfair to expect these things from your partner (or yourself). Masturbation is healthy and fun for everyone, but it may play a particularly important role for people who are far away.

A 2009 study showed that women in relationships masturbate more often than those who are single and not dating. "Sex begets sex," said Claire Cavanah, co-founder of Babeland. Once the juices start flowing, you do more."

Masturbation doesn't just make you feel satisfied in the moment; It will keep your libido and libido strong and in good shape, and build anticipation for the next meeting.

7. Check frequently

When you're in a long-distance relationship, it's normal to worry about whether your partner's needs are being met. Instead of worrying all the time, talk regularly about the state of your relationship.

To check you have all the assumptions or agreements, make sure you agree on the details, such as you will maintain a level of monogamy, what is a "cheat" for you, how much you expect of touch each other, how long do you want to arrange a visit (and you will be how to allocate labor and financial commitment to travel).

And completely transparent communication is sexy.

A 2007 study found that more than half of all long-distance relationships had more positive memories, higher communication quality, and even more romance than people who were geographically close.

Distance, it turns out, can bring the heart (and sex organs) closer together.