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Men and women have very different bodies and have very different orgasms, but how do you teach a man how to get a woman to orgasm, and how can he build up the staying power to achieve the perfect rhythm? If you want to play the long game, start by understanding a woman's body.
It is a common complaint of men that women do not orgasm during intercourse, but this is not a sexual aberration, but a variation in the normal expression of women's sexual desire. Women's sexual responses are more complex and varied than men's. It doesn't mean better or worse. Women may have single orgasms, lack of orgasms, multiple orgasms, and orgasms may occur during foreplay, during intercourse, or after intercourse.
Unlike men, who have an orgasm during intercourse and then do not need to be sexually stimulated, men should understand and accept that only a quarter of women are like men. Orgasmic response is a healthy, integral part of a woman's sexual performance, but patterns vary from person to person. Very few women can orgasm every time they have sex. For women, orgasm is part of sexual satisfaction, but it's not a given. Most women find it easier to orgasm with hand, mouth, rub and massage stick stimulation than with intercourse. In fact, the most common pattern of sexual response is that women orgasm through hand and oral stimulation during foreplay, while men orgasm during intercourse.
In order for you and your partner to effectively overcome premature ejaculation as a close team, you need to understand, accept, and affirm your partner's arousal and orgasm patterns. She should be vocal about sex, not reflecting what you think is right, but articulating her feelings and preferences. You work together to create a sexual relationship that is not only reasonable but also respectful of individual preferences, rather than based on a simple view of sexual differences between men and women.
Men grow up thinking that they should be experts in sex and that it is their responsibility to make women sexually satisfied. We encourage you to take a different perspective in close erotic relationships. Your partner is an expert at her own sexuality. Her desires, her excitement, her orgasms are her responsibility, not yours. The outdated definition of a good lover is a man who is responsible for a woman's sexual satisfaction and who is persistent enough for her to reach orgasm just by having sex. But a healthier, more practical definition of a good lover is a man who treats a woman as his sexual equal and sees her as an intimate partner.
As a good lover, you are open to her sexual demands and guidance. Each person's erotic passion and excitement feeds the other's desire, excitement and satisfaction. Men enjoy sexual intercourse for their own sake and for the sake of erotic relationships. He is aware of the other person's feelings and can give and receive pleasure during intercourse. Sex may involve different positions and movements, which can add luster to an intimate interaction. Reaching orgasm is a natural extension of the excitement process. Sex is not the moment when a man finally ejaculates. In the post-coital scene, the man is open to the woman's feelings and needs.
If learning to control ejaculation is just to ensure that a woman can have an orgasm during intercourse, then a man is putting himself and his romantic relationship at risk of failure and frustration. The reason to improve ejaculation-control techniques is to make the sexual experience more enjoyable and satisfying for both partners, not to prove anything to yourself or your partner. If she can orgasm during intercourse and that's her preferred way, enjoy it. But if you put too much pressure on yourself to hold firm long enough for her to orgasm during intercourse, it can be damaging to you, to her, and to your erotic relationship. The focus of ejaculation control should be on enhancing the overall sexual experience, including:
Awareness, comfort, intimacy, pleasure, carnal desire, intercourse, orgasm, post-play.
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